Fiction writers live by the motto, Show, Don’t Tell. These document creators repeat this slogan so often it became a cliché long time ago. The writers who practice what this overused phrase says end up writing entertaining and believable fiction.
The remainder of this article discusses the importance of Show, Don’t Tell. A mini scene is taken from the first draft of A Right to Belong, one of the books available on this site, to explain this tried-and-true statement.
“When Pete returned from the apartment, he entered the living room, looking angry.
‘What's the matter?’ Faith asked. ‘I've never seen you like this.’
‘I don't know how to contact my father,’ he replied. He took off his cap, still looking angry, and placed it on the [sofa] before sitting down. ‘I've it up to here,’ he said, pointing to his chin.”
One of the first things you might notice in the scene is the telling instead of showing that Pete is angry. This beat is okay in a draft because while writers are getting their stories out of their heads and into word processors, they do not want to interrupt the creativity flow to start rewriting or editing what they have written. What is certain is this scene will never end up in the final draft in its present form.
Telling instead of showing readers how characters feel is not giving the readers a chance to think for themselves. Some people are insulted when a writer tells every little bit of detail. Book and story lovers are more engaged and entertained when they figure out or understand the characters they are reading about on their own.
Some people resort to telling instead of showing because it is easier to get writing done faster. While good fiction writing is not an easy task, writers can master the art of Show, Don't Tell if they are willing to practice. Here is the scene as it appears in the final draft:
“When Pete returned home from Nigel's apartment, he slammed the front door behind him.
‘What's the matter?’ Faith asked. ‘I've never seen you like this.’
‘I don't know how to contact my father,’ he said between his teeth.
He grabbed his cap off his head and threw it in the corner of the [sofa]. ‘I've it up to here,’ he said, pointing to his chin.”
In the final rewrite of the scene, readers can see or sense the anger.
For example: "He slammed the front door behind him."
"He [spoke] between his teeth."
"He grabbed his cap off his head and threw it in the corner of the [sofa]."
As stated above, showing through writing allows readers to conclude the emotional state of the characters about who they are reading. The people in the story, or people in general, might be angered differently; therefore, you cannot get a true sense of the anger by just saying he looks angry.
While Show, Don’t Tell is only one of the characteristics of good fiction, it is an important characteristic. As stated before, any writer who masters Show, Don’t Tell is well on the way to creating fictional worlds that engage and entertain readers. Now might be a good time for you to go through your manuscript and cut or rewrite all scenes that are telling rather than showing character emotions.
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